Forever
by Que-The-Music
Summary: I love him, that much I know. But Forever, what does that really mean? Edward and Bella, Bella and Edward, forever.  But how long is Forever really?  Nothing, even love, lasts forever.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello, this is in fact my first Twilight fanfic, so please be merciful even though it probably will suck just because I suck at writing.** **Anyways, I'm gonna stop talking to my computer screen and start the story.**

I stepped closer to the edge of the cliff, the harsh wind bitting my face. The cold black water lapped, no more like beat, on the jagged edges of the rocks below me.

_Deja Vu?_

No, this was much too real. I could hear Edwards voice in my head, begging me to turn around. I had never, ever in all my life wanted to obey him more than I did in that second. I tried to listen, tried to back up from the edge, but my feet wouldn't move, they were working on their own accord, they just continued to walk in a steady pace toward the drop-off. I tried my hands, my arms, my neck. I was in no control of any part of my body. It was like I was trapped inside myself. But it wasn't like one of those stupid corny movies, where a person is looking at what is happening from inside their head, no this was real. I could feel the freezing cold wind on my face, the numbness as my toes got colder. It was just that I had no control.

My heart throbbed in my throat, I wanted so badly to turn around, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't even control that. I was in some sort of flashback of my suicidal stunt.

I felt my lips twist into some sort of psychotic smile that I couldn't stop. I was hopeless to suicidal Bella.

The edge was there, terrifyingly close, just inches away. And I could do nothing. I felt my arms raise, and then fall again. I squeezed my eyes tightly shut as I felt the dropping sensation that meant that I had jumped.

My face was burning with the cold and icy rain. I flung my arms over my eyes to protect them, and that was when I realized it. I could move now! I wanted to be happy, But all I could think about was the fact that I had jumped off an eighty foot cliff and was now falling to me death.

The water was almost before me. Closer and closer until I felt it. It was the worst feeling I had ever experienced. I felt as if I had been stabbed from all sides with ice cold daggers. I struggled against the current, and I was winning. This was not at all like the last time. I was fighting for breath, I needed oxygen! Then my head broke the surface. I gulped another breath of fresh air, then suddenly the current whipped me under again. Water got in my mouth and down the wrong pipe, making it feel like I was freezing from the inside out. I put all my efforts into getting my self up above the water. Once again I felt my head break the surface, and I gulped in the air. Flailing, fighting the current, I looked about for something that I could hold on to. I spotted a rock not to far away and reached out for it, slicing my palm on the jagged edge as I gripped it. I didn't even feel the pain. I just pulled my self up. I screamed out for help and looked wildly around the beach.

Then I saw him. Standing in the sand, in his jeans and an old sweatshirt. His hands in his pockets.

Edward

My Edward.

I yelled to him and he turned, slowly, his eyes finally fixing on mine. There was a moment when neither of us looked away, neither moved. Then a grin spread across his face, a smile that made my heart ache. And he turned, he just turned and walked away. Leaving me all alone.

I woke up ion a cold sweat. The sheets wrapped around my legs were damp with persperataion. I tried to shake off the night mare, but I couldn't. Were Edward and I truely meant for each other? I love him, that much I know. But forever, as he had promised, how could that be? We are so different. I was just to selfish to see that. Forever. . .now that is something that I have absolutly no idea the true meaning of.

**Like I said, It sucks. But oh well. If you like it please please review! I am on my knees! (Not really but it never hurts to throw that in does it?)**

**Love yall!**

**Sarah**


	2. Chapter 2

**Here is chapter two. It will probably suck just as bad, but oh well, what do I have to lose.**

I stepped in to the shower and turned the water all the way on hot, not even caring as the scalding water cascaded down my back . All I wanted to do was wash away that horrible nightmare. I stood there for God-knows how long, with my eyes closed, just breathing in the steamy air and letting the water cleanse my body, until I finally opened my ayes and looked at my arms. They were beet red, crimson from the exposure to the hot water. I turned the water down a bit and reached for the bottle of shampoo. My day was beginning.

X-x-X

The air outside was muggy and heavy with humidity as I walked toward my trusty old truck. I opened the door and threw my bag in before sliding in myself. I settled around and fastened my seatbelt before starting the engine with that only too familiar roar. Pulling out of the drive way my mind was still clouded. I didn't know what to make of the dream, Sure I had had nightmares before, but never like that. I was glad that Edward had declined my offer to stay the night last night, because I must have been talking in my sleep, as vivid as the dream was, and even if Edwards mind reading was immune to me, It wouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what the dream was about.

I turned on the familiar streets till I saw the high, flat, roof of the school, then I pulled in to the parking lot right next to the vacant spot next to Edwards silver Volvo. Of course there he was, leaning up against his car, his face in a smile. His hands were tucked in to the pockets of his sweatshirt in a way that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. I cut the engine, and sat there for a moment, wondering what it was about my angle that was making me so jittery. I could see that Edward was looking at me suspiciously, and was just about to get out, when I remembered what it was. I let out a gasp and my hands flew to my mouth! Edward saw this and sprang in to action and opened my door, grabbing on to my arm before he realized I was still buckled.

"Bella? Bella? What's wrong?"

His voice was worried and his gorgeous face was creased with worry, but I wasn't listening. Edward had been standing _exactly_ the same way as he had been in my dream. . .nightmare. Even the clothes were the same. I was shaking, and Edward felt it, because he swiftly un buckled me and picked me up, setting me on the hood of his car, facing him, with his cold hands clamped tightly, but not so it hurt, around mine.

"Bella!" he said, staring me down, "What's wrong?"

"N-nothing," I stuttered, I couldn't tell him about the dream. In it he had _left me do die!_ what could I say. 'hey Edward, nothings the matter, I just think your gonna ditch me and let me drown. No biggy, lets get to class!'

He wasn't buying it. He looked down at my hands, which were, still shaking, and still extremely red. Especially considering that I was so pale.

I tried to pull my hands away, but when he wouldn't let go, I muttered, "I took a hot shower this morning"

He still wasn't satisfied, and I knew that he would make me tell him why I was so upset, but the bell rang, telling us that we were already late, so Edward helped me down, and grabbed my bag. Still clutching one of my trembling hands.

X-x-X

Just as I had known would happen, I wasn't able to concentrate on any of my subjects. I got called on about four times to answer a question, and each time I had no idea what was going on. I was scared to death, of what I didn't know. I tried to tell my self that it was a coincidence that he was wearing the same thing, and that he had the same smile. But I still couldn't get that image out of my mind, and I still couldn't stop shaking.

I was getting weird looks, and I could hardly blame the people. I was red as a tomato and shaking like I had Parkinson's disease. Finally at lunch, Edward had obviously had enough. He stood, obviously angry, and picked up my bag, nodding to Alice who stood too, grabbing my tray and bringing it to the trash, before returning. Edward pulled out my chair roughly and I obviously looked frightened, because more gently, he grabbed my hand and pulled me up.

"Edward, what on earth-" I began as he began half pushing me half dragging me toward the office.

But he cut me off.

"I'm sick of this, you obviously can't concentrate, and if you won't talk to me, maybe Esme can talk some sence in to you."

I turned to Alice, who was walking briskly alongside Edward, for support, but her eyes were full of worry.

We had reached the office, and Edward wrapped his arm around my waist and leaned in, his breath tickling my neck as he whispered in my ear: "act sick"

I felt it best to obey him so I did what I could to look frail. I made my arms limp and closed my eyes, leaning all my weight on his stone shoulder.

Edward guided me over to a chair, where he helped me sit, as if I needed it. Then he walked to desk, where the secretary was peering at me over her half moon glasses with a worried expression. Alice was right behind him, floating with graceful movements.

"I couldn't hear all that was being said, but I thought I could make out Edward saying something about me being sick, and the secretary nodded, glancing at me again.

Edward walked back, a smug smile on his face as he helped me up and out in to the parking lot where he made me get in to his volvo, throwing Alice my keys in the process.

"Where did you get those?" I asked, not sure if I was concerned that I was so easy to pick pocket, or because Edward seemed to have so much power. Edward ignored me, his jaw in a locked state that I only saw when he was either mad, or upset. At least he was keeping his eyes on the road. I buckled my seatbelt, wishing that he would slow down. The trees were flying by in one big green blur. Finally I saw the large structure of his home and thanked the Lord when he pulled in to the driveway extremely dangerously, that I was still alive. He stepped out of the car and made his way in to the house, his arm snaked around my waist, pushing me along.

We passed a surprised Esme, and Edward shook his head in response to her confused look. She nodded, making me mad that they obviously were having a non-verbal conversation about me.

Edward continued to push me up the stairs, turning on the hall in to his room, where he pulled me on to his lap, twisting me so that I was facing him. His beautiful eyes were locked on mine, so that I couldn't turn away.

"What is going on?" he asked, his voice level.

"What happened to Esme talking sence in to me?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

He ignored me, repeting his first question.

I let out a sigh, deciding to tell the truth, without telling him the whole story.

"I'm scared." I said, and when he said nothing, continued.

"I-I'm afraid that something will go wrong, that, oh, I don't know! That well. . .we'll."

I stopped then, leaning in to him and resting my head on his fridgid chest. He wrapped his arms around me, pressing his lips to the top of my head.

After a while, I opened my eyes, looking up in to his.

"Do you love me?" I asked, lowering my head again.

It must have sounded stupid, but he knew that I needed to hear it, because he kissed my head before saying in that gorgous voice, "Yes"

"how long will you love me?" I asked, this time a little quieter.

He paused this time before answering, stiffing a little as if he knew where this was going.

Finally he answered.

"Forever,"

I stood then, quickly. The movement was so sudden that Edward didn't even try to stop me.

I walked at a quick pace out of his room and down the hall, not even stopping as I reached Carlisle's office. I flung open the door, hearing Edward right behind me. I searched the bookcase up and down until finally I found what I was looking for.

I pulled the dictionary off the shelf and threw it open, flipping paged like crazy while a stunned Edward watched.

"Forever," I read, my voice angry.

Edward paled, if that was possible.

"without ever ending; eternally: to last _forever_."

I slammed it shut, turning once more to look at Edward.

His eyes were filled with sadness and he was standing there, like a young boy who had just learned his dog had died.

I was angry, and I spoke in the rage.

"How log is forever for you Edward? Till I die? Till we drift apart? Till our relationship becomes a thirty year old woman and a teenage boy? When Tell ME!"

Edward looked pained, like he was being tortured. Still I didn't back off. Tears were smarting in my eyes as I stepped forward.

"I need forever! I want to be with you forever. For eternity!"

I looked at him then, my voice wavering as I spoke the last sentence.

"You don't understand." Was all he said. He was going to say more, but I couldn't take it. I left then. Going as quickly as I could without running, down and out of the house. No one tried to stop me. I had planned on walking home, but I found that my truck was parked in the long drive way. I got in and drove, not stopping once until I was home. Then I just lay there on my bed, surprised when a drop of moisture fell down my cheek.

And then, I slept.

**Yay! All done. I hope it wasn't to bad. I love getting reviews, so if you want me to continue, review!**

**sarah**


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